Meaningful Holiday Gifts with Dr Arne

What a conundrum. Why do we often go for the most advertised and most expensive toys and gadgets? Tragically what I often see is that these toys run the agenda and actually dictate to our kids what to do. Like a Lego set that makes you build a helicopter from the instruction manual.

And I really don’t believe that our kids need another version of a screen by way of the latest iPod, phone or mobile gaming device.

So is there a way to give our kids something we actually feel is genuinely good for them? I absolutely believe there are some great presents out there and I work on the principals that if it teaches them new physical skills, is musical, stimulates their creativity, or is a good story then it is worth considering. Here are some ideas for your last minute Christmas gifts:

• For new physical skills – slack lines are fantastic. I also recommend juggling balls, diablos or even bosu balls.
• For music – djembe drums can be great, electric pianos or guitars just to name a few (god I wish I had started learning guitar when I was a kid).
• To stimulate their creativity – paints and an easel, different sorts of clays, even a hammer and saw to start their carpentry career.
• As for stories I would steer away from fantasy and look at educational stories for kids, fictional biographies or stories that teach them about the culture in different countries at different times.

And there is another gift that you can give kids that doesn’t cost a cent and it is the best one of all. The idea stems from something that we do on all of our camps and it can certainly be adapted beautifully to your Christmas celebrations. It goes something like this. When we are doing a program with fathers and sons we gather towards the end of the camp in front of a special chair that we have built. We call up one of the boys to sit on the chair in front of everyone who is on the camp.  While the boy is sitting there his father comes up and in front of everyone tells his son what he loves about him, the gifts and talents that he sees in him. He also tells him what he admires and respects about him. After the father has finished speaking another man comes up and tells the boy what he admires and respects about him. Then another man does the same thing. It is a profound and deep experience for the boys and one that I believe changes their lives. I love nothing better than to watch the pride in a boy’s eyes as he is honoured by people who see his genius and his spirit.

So here is a great idea for what you can do at Christmas lunch. Put a special chair at the top of the table and get the kids to sit in it one at a time. Take turns telling the boy or girl what you love about them. Take your time and try to identify the special things that are unique to them, the particular gifts and talents that you see they have and the most beautiful sides of their personality. If you want an example go to my TEDx talk and fast forward to 13.28 minutes.  You can have just the adults speaking or even better get the other kids to also have a turn. Make sure that only one person speaks at a time and ask the child in the chair not to say anything and to just listen.  I guarantee it will be a Christmas celebration that you will never forget.

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